Being the parent to a newborn is hard work! It is true what they say, you can never really be prepared to have a baby. It is just different that you can ever imagine. Especially for those of us who haven't spent any real time with babys or newborns.
Some days I feel like I am getting the hang of things and that I can do it. Other days are completely overwhelming and I feel like a total failure. Today, luckily, is a day that I feel like I can do this.
I love my little man more than I ever imagined I could. He is so sweet and as frustrated as I get, he will do something to make me smile and I forget the frustrations. He is so wonderful to wake up to every day. Even for the 2 am feedings. He loves getting his diaper changed and happily looks around just taking everything in. We had a million pictures of him already. I will post a few before he starts fussing to eat!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Finally Updating!
Well, I am finally able to post again! Life has been crazy the last few weeks.
Oliver James was born on March 10, 2010 at 8:12 p.m. Here is his birth story:
I woke up at 2:00 am on Wednesday morning with contractions. They were pretty mild at first and I was able to lay down and rest through most of them. I finally woke Kevin up around 4 or so. We started timing my contractions and they were anywhere from 7-15 minutes apart. We got up around 5 and ate some breakfast. My contractions started getting more intense as the morning progressed. It was about 11 am when we decided to call the doctor's office. They said that since my contractions weren't getting any closer together (still anywhere from 5-10 minutes apart at this point) that I might not actually be in active labor. I lost it! I was in so much pain at this point that the thought that this might not be it brought me to tears. Well, soon after that phone call my contractions got closer together and stronger, so it was obviously active labor! Kevin was great through all of this. He realized that I had lost all focus and was starting to panic. So he sat me down and made me focus on our relaxation techniques and do our breathing. I felt much better and more in control once he made me focus. We headed to the hospital around 1 or 2 pm. They checked us into Labor and Delivery and put us in a room. We had a wonderful nurse named Pam. She was so sweet and took our birth plan very seriously and respected it. I was dilated to a 5 or a 6. They monitored Oliver's heartbeat for about 30 minutes. Then I decided to get in the tub. We had read that if you can make it to 6 cm then sit in a tub for 1 an hour, it is likely that you will be fully dilated. Well, I sat in the tub for about 1-1.5 hours. When I got out, I think this is when I went into transition. The contractions were right on top of each other and I really doubted that I could keep going. Well Pam checked me and I was 9 cm. She left the room and about 5 min later I felt the pressure and need to push. I asked Kevin to call the nurse because I needed to push and he didn't believe me. Well, he called her and she determined that I was 10 cm dilated and ready to push! We tried pushing in the traditional position first, then tried using the squat bar. I ended up laying back down after a few pushes squatting. I pushed for over 2 hours. It was the hardest work I have ever done. Kevin was on my left side, and Rachel eventually came and held my right leg. My Mom was also in the room with us. I finally pushed him out at 8:12 pm. The cord was wrapped around his neck, so there was a bunch of fluid in his lungs. He was not breathing well, so they immediately took him and started working on getting the gunk out of his lungs. We were all very worried, but after about an hour or so they got him in perfect working order. My placenta didn't want to come out, and my uterus didn't want to contract, so I had some pretty heavy bleeding. My IV had come out during the pushing, so they couldn't give me pitocin through an IV drip, so gave me a shot in the leg. I eventually stopped bleeding and ended up with 2 tiny tears and 2 stitches.
It was the hardest and most rewarding day of my life. I got the birth I wanted, all medication free and intervention free. Oliver is the sweetest baby I have ever seen and I feel lucky everyday that I get to be his Mom. I am so blessed that Kevin was so incredibly wonderful through the whole birth and was the best coach ever. I am 100% sure that I could not have done it without his support. He is the best husband and Daddy ever (we call him the baby whisperer, lol).
It has been a huge transition in our lives as we adjust to being parents, but we are getting the hang of it day by day.
But that is a whole other post that I will try to write in the next day or 2.
I think that we are going to try to get a lap top so that I can have easier access to the computer while I am at home with Oliver. So hopefully I can post much more often.
Oh, and day 16 post partum, I am down to 172, so down 24 pounds already!! Only 18 more pounds till I get back to my pre pregnancy weight. But I still want to be down to at least 140, so I have some work to do!! Breastfeeding sure does help get the weight off.
Oliver James was born on March 10, 2010 at 8:12 p.m. Here is his birth story:
I woke up at 2:00 am on Wednesday morning with contractions. They were pretty mild at first and I was able to lay down and rest through most of them. I finally woke Kevin up around 4 or so. We started timing my contractions and they were anywhere from 7-15 minutes apart. We got up around 5 and ate some breakfast. My contractions started getting more intense as the morning progressed. It was about 11 am when we decided to call the doctor's office. They said that since my contractions weren't getting any closer together (still anywhere from 5-10 minutes apart at this point) that I might not actually be in active labor. I lost it! I was in so much pain at this point that the thought that this might not be it brought me to tears. Well, soon after that phone call my contractions got closer together and stronger, so it was obviously active labor! Kevin was great through all of this. He realized that I had lost all focus and was starting to panic. So he sat me down and made me focus on our relaxation techniques and do our breathing. I felt much better and more in control once he made me focus. We headed to the hospital around 1 or 2 pm. They checked us into Labor and Delivery and put us in a room. We had a wonderful nurse named Pam. She was so sweet and took our birth plan very seriously and respected it. I was dilated to a 5 or a 6. They monitored Oliver's heartbeat for about 30 minutes. Then I decided to get in the tub. We had read that if you can make it to 6 cm then sit in a tub for 1 an hour, it is likely that you will be fully dilated. Well, I sat in the tub for about 1-1.5 hours. When I got out, I think this is when I went into transition. The contractions were right on top of each other and I really doubted that I could keep going. Well Pam checked me and I was 9 cm. She left the room and about 5 min later I felt the pressure and need to push. I asked Kevin to call the nurse because I needed to push and he didn't believe me. Well, he called her and she determined that I was 10 cm dilated and ready to push! We tried pushing in the traditional position first, then tried using the squat bar. I ended up laying back down after a few pushes squatting. I pushed for over 2 hours. It was the hardest work I have ever done. Kevin was on my left side, and Rachel eventually came and held my right leg. My Mom was also in the room with us. I finally pushed him out at 8:12 pm. The cord was wrapped around his neck, so there was a bunch of fluid in his lungs. He was not breathing well, so they immediately took him and started working on getting the gunk out of his lungs. We were all very worried, but after about an hour or so they got him in perfect working order. My placenta didn't want to come out, and my uterus didn't want to contract, so I had some pretty heavy bleeding. My IV had come out during the pushing, so they couldn't give me pitocin through an IV drip, so gave me a shot in the leg. I eventually stopped bleeding and ended up with 2 tiny tears and 2 stitches.
It was the hardest and most rewarding day of my life. I got the birth I wanted, all medication free and intervention free. Oliver is the sweetest baby I have ever seen and I feel lucky everyday that I get to be his Mom. I am so blessed that Kevin was so incredibly wonderful through the whole birth and was the best coach ever. I am 100% sure that I could not have done it without his support. He is the best husband and Daddy ever (we call him the baby whisperer, lol).
It has been a huge transition in our lives as we adjust to being parents, but we are getting the hang of it day by day.
But that is a whole other post that I will try to write in the next day or 2.
I think that we are going to try to get a lap top so that I can have easier access to the computer while I am at home with Oliver. So hopefully I can post much more often.
Oh, and day 16 post partum, I am down to 172, so down 24 pounds already!! Only 18 more pounds till I get back to my pre pregnancy weight. But I still want to be down to at least 140, so I have some work to do!! Breastfeeding sure does help get the weight off.
Monday, March 8, 2010
40 Weeks 2 Days
Well, D-Day came and went! I still have not given birth to Oliver. He is being stubborn and does not want to come out. I am trying my best to stay patient and know that he will come when he is ready. In the scheme to things these last few days that we have to wait that feel so long now, aren't even a drip in the bucket. It is amazing what a mental challenge waiting these last few days is. I sure didn't expect to be so anxious and impatient.
DH and I have been walking, doing accupressure, having lots of sex, and still nothing! Hell, I even ate spicy food yesterday for lunch! Everyone knows that I hate spicy food, that was not fun for me!!
I have my next doctor's appointment tomorrow at 2:10. They are going to do a non-stress test on Oliver to make sure that he is moving ok, and his heart rate is still good. I am also going to ask for a membrane sweep to see if that can get things moving.
Today is my first offical day off work! It feels weird to not be there. I am just glad that I have a few more paychecks coming before I am officially unemployed.
Well, hopefully my next entry will be a birth story.....
DH and I have been walking, doing accupressure, having lots of sex, and still nothing! Hell, I even ate spicy food yesterday for lunch! Everyone knows that I hate spicy food, that was not fun for me!!
I have my next doctor's appointment tomorrow at 2:10. They are going to do a non-stress test on Oliver to make sure that he is moving ok, and his heart rate is still good. I am also going to ask for a membrane sweep to see if that can get things moving.
Today is my first offical day off work! It feels weird to not be there. I am just glad that I have a few more paychecks coming before I am officially unemployed.
Well, hopefully my next entry will be a birth story.....
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
39 Weeks 3 Days...
And not a damn thing happening! I am so ready to have this baby. Poor Oliver doesn't seem to want to come out. He is happily hanging out in my over stretched uterus. I am not even to, or past, my due date and I am already beyond anxious! I don't know how much longer my sanity is going to hold out. I feel like I am weeks overdue. I honestly feel like I might be pregnant forever.
Don't get me wrong...I love being pregnant. I am going to miss have Oliver all to myself knowing that he is safe and sound. But on the other hand, I am ready to have an outside baby! I want to know what he looks like. Is he going to have his dads blue eyes? Brown hair? Is he going to be cursed with short legs like both me and my hubby have? I just want to meet him. I just want to hold him. I just want to cuddle him. I want my body back. I want my hormones to go back to normal and to be myself again. This week I have just been a total cry baby. I cry when I think about being pregnant forever (I really am convinced he is never going to come out!). I cry when I think about him being an outside baby.
I have also been having some seriously dark thoughts about my mortality this week. I guess that comes with the territory of bringing a new life into the world? I told my DH that if I die during childbirth I want him to be the best Dad he can be and that I really want him to find Oliver a good Mom someday. I don't want him to have a bithcy step mom. I think about what would happen if we both died...who is going to raise my son? I guess that we need to write a will. Stuff that I probably should have taken care of a long time ago.
Other news...more that makes me cry. My sister, who has been struggling with infertility for a long time now got another BFN today. They did their 4Th IUI this cycle. I know how disappointed she is and it kills me. I hate that she has to deal with infertility. It just isn't fair. They are going to take a break from treatments for a few months. I just hope that it happens for them soon. Sooner than later.
So the countdown for my last day of work is getting pretty short!!! Only 2.5 more days!!! I can't even believe it. Maybe less if Ollie finally decides to grace us with his presence in the outside world.
Don't get me wrong...I love being pregnant. I am going to miss have Oliver all to myself knowing that he is safe and sound. But on the other hand, I am ready to have an outside baby! I want to know what he looks like. Is he going to have his dads blue eyes? Brown hair? Is he going to be cursed with short legs like both me and my hubby have? I just want to meet him. I just want to hold him. I just want to cuddle him. I want my body back. I want my hormones to go back to normal and to be myself again. This week I have just been a total cry baby. I cry when I think about being pregnant forever (I really am convinced he is never going to come out!). I cry when I think about him being an outside baby.
I have also been having some seriously dark thoughts about my mortality this week. I guess that comes with the territory of bringing a new life into the world? I told my DH that if I die during childbirth I want him to be the best Dad he can be and that I really want him to find Oliver a good Mom someday. I don't want him to have a bithcy step mom. I think about what would happen if we both died...who is going to raise my son? I guess that we need to write a will. Stuff that I probably should have taken care of a long time ago.
Other news...more that makes me cry. My sister, who has been struggling with infertility for a long time now got another BFN today. They did their 4Th IUI this cycle. I know how disappointed she is and it kills me. I hate that she has to deal with infertility. It just isn't fair. They are going to take a break from treatments for a few months. I just hope that it happens for them soon. Sooner than later.
So the countdown for my last day of work is getting pretty short!!! Only 2.5 more days!!! I can't even believe it. Maybe less if Ollie finally decides to grace us with his presence in the outside world.
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